My Greatest Insecurity

insecurity, education, veronica n cuyugan, writer, bliss

When I was 25, I left college. I had taken my sweet time working on my associate’s degree at Valencia College, where I learned so much about myself and the world around me. Growing within the world of academia was an indulgence because I loved to learn. The process of learning in the arena of higher education was something I was good at, but I had better ideas about my future. I wanted to start companies; make some money. I wanted to start these business ventures by figuring out the way to build them from the bottom up in ways that perhaps were never explored before.

Shortly after I made my decision to take a break from my studies, I walked into a bookstore because I was craving guidance. What better place to find guidance about life choices than a bookstore?  I made a major life decision and what followed the peace was insecurity. I exhaled a tiny request from the Universe: “Was I right about leaving college?”

The first book I laid my eyes upon was The Education of Millionaires by Michael Ellsberg (an intensely unique soul I am grateful and humbled to call my friend). I read the book from cover to cover and within those pages, I found relief. I was relieved to read about a plethora of successful founders who opted to forego post-secondary education. I felt as though I had stumbled upon my ilk. Of course, I have yet to experience the astronomical success the interviewees within the book have created for themselves, but I felt as though I was given permission by the Universe by way of Mr. Ellsberg, to move forward in the way my instincts were guiding me.

I was on my way to entrepreneurial success.

It’s been nearly 5 years since my break from college, and I am feeling the itch to return. I find myself referring to moments and lessons during college that have enriched my life. Sure, I’ve learned much by failing on my own and living forward – both have been instrumental in my growth as a person, writer, and coach.

When I was 19, my mom gave me a simple life suggestion.

“People have an average of 3 careers in their lifetime in order to avoid burnout.”

That bulb has been shining brightly within the realm of my consciousness ever since.

I have been feeling myself being drawn towards social issues that ignite and highlight the injustices that run so rampant today. With the advent of social media and 24-hour news cycle, it’s nearly impossible to ignore the plight of the oppressed. I work in teaching people to go within to seek their bliss, and I find myself applying my own lessons on a daily basis because learning about the human tendency to righteously victimize one another with no sense of accountability or remorse is something that keeps my inner Hulk wanting to smash.

How can I help?

What can I do?

My answers to these questions lie in my determination to further my own education both as an act of self-enrichment, but also as a way to better serve the human race. I am well aware of the talents and capabilities I possess, and if I do not expand my abilities, I will not only do myself and my future children a great disservice, but I will also cheat those I could potentially be a voice for.



Posted on: June 18, 2015

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